Hook-Up: Survive The Holidays

This image is about as believable as Santa Claus coming down the chimney. Oh, wait… Sorry kids.

These department store commercials for the holidays are such a farce. You know the kind we are talking about, like the son who moved away coming home in time to brew a pot coffee or the snowy walkways to Grandma’s. They are bullshit because A.)  that kid would have tripped the security alarm his parents put in after they kicked him out for the “pencil shavings” in his sock drawer and B.) global warming means there is no snow anywhere south of Santa’s house.

We all know how most family gatherings go: there are two aunts giving each other the silent treatment, a handful of brats running full-tilt through the house, and one uncle will be parked in front of the TV watching football, swearing to no one in particular. The drive home is no better, because at some point you either said or didn’t say something to your significant other’s Mom and “it’s clear how much you hate her.” Happy Holidays, indeed.

You have weeks of this ahead, so you’d better do it in style and comfort. These things will help.